Kaoru's Reflection
by SilentAuthor22
Summary: Kaoru never thought of what it's like to be alone. He never wanted to experience it either. So what will happen to him once Hikaru lets go? - WARNING for those who easily cry.


_Hi there. :) Another fic for Ouran. Yay!_  
><em>Would be really soothing to read it while listening to:<em>  
><em>Never Say Never - The Fray or How To Save a Life - The Fray<em>

**ENJOY**

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><p><em>It was always you and me since childhood. The two of us. And nobody else in the picture.<em>

_But who's this girl sliding in and taking your attention? Why is she taking my place?_

_Why am I being erased from that picture?_

_Why do we have to be parted?_

|Kaoru's POV|

_Zzzz...Zzz...Zzzz..._

"Nnnn.." I groaned. I reached out my hand to where that awful noise was, my eyes weren't open. I didn't want to open them cause of that annoying light. I can't move my body as well. Well at least, I didn't want to move my body. I was tired, from doing nothing. I rolled and turned to my side, spreading my arms on the empty side, there was nothing but a pillow and a blanket. Nothing was there.

Hikaru wasn't there.

I didn't want to open my eyes and see it, but I curse my eyelids for fluttering, making me see the empty space, where my brother used to lay. There was nothing more for me to do, It wasn't my decision he have to go. I jump out of my bed, finally changing into my uniform. Another day for college life. It wasn't as sweet as I thought about it as a kid, now that he's gone. I pulled and wore my polo shirt. Half unbuttoned, I accidentally see my reflection from the mirror. Oh dear god, why did I have to see this. My eyes kind of narrowed, I hated to see myself in the mirror, I can't even see myelf there..

All I see is Hikaru's face.

I was happy for him, I really am. I already made a decision. I'd support him to whatever his heart desires, even if it wasn't me. I understand that, that have to part our ways, that in the end we have to live our lives alone. That I have to face that fact that I will be alone.

_"..But." _Tears started to fall, and I found myself punching the mirror. _"..It just doesn't seem fair." _I spoke through my shivering voice,

Alone, it was a scary word, something that I wouldn't ever want to feel. I understand what I have to do, I understand I have to let go. I understand that he has to live his own life. I understand that he needs to love someone other than me. But why are these feelings coming back to me? I have dealt with them; I don't wanna go through it again.

I gently put my head against the mirror, looking down at my bloody hand. Hikaru, was it wrong for me to help you? 'Cause it if was the right decision, it was supposed to be for the two of us to become happy. But, I wish you could look at me now..

**_|Flashback|_**

_I waited around the_ Hitachiin_ Mansion, slouching on the couch, walking around, even almost walked around half of the garden in the back. Waiting for a brother of mine to go back from this date of his. He texted me to wait, he said it needed to tell me something. What was so important at this night? My eyes narrowed, maybe it was, he just wanted to hang out with me? I hope it would be. I heard footsteps and voices chattering getting nearer. The door opened. I saw my reflection, looking at me with a refreshing smile. I smiled back, until I saw a girl beside him._

_"Hi Kaoru." She waved at me cheerfully. her round, brown orbs gleefully beaming at me, with her thin arms wrapped around my brother's arm._

_"...Hi Haruhi." I smiled back. Don't get me wrong, I like Haruhi. She was like a sister to me, but I never wished that. It was more on friendship, and that was it. I don't hate her, it was actually MY goal to get Hikaru's long unrequited love for Haruhi to be fulfilled. I was happy for them, I really am.._

_The couple sat down on the opposite couch on me, all cuddled on each other. Somehow, I laughed. Chuckling at them being all lovey-dovey, but as usual Haruhi was being all flustered and shy. What's wrong with me? My face say I'm laughing, but inside, it hurts..It hurts so much.. Why did my body move on its own? I couldn't act right, or maybe,_this _was the _'right' _I knew since I was a kid. "..So what was you wanted to tell me?" My heart starts beating fast, I was nervous, I had a feeling there was something bad going to happen._

_Hikaru held her hand, Haruhi blushed and looked away. Hikaru smiled politely at me, I stared back politely. "Kaoru, Haruhi and I.." Please say break up, please say break up. please say BREAK UP!_

_"Kaoru, I'm marrying Haruhi."_

No... _"..."_ Why? _"..That's cool." _WHY?

_Why did you let me go?_

**_|End of Flashback|_**

I smiled then, a pure empty smile. For the sake of my sanity, my mind commanded my face to smile, just smile. Because my heart nor my whole body wasn't functioning well, it was all hurting, emotionally. I wanted to cry, I wanted to glare, I wanted to shout at them. I wanted to know why they forgotten about me.

Why didn't I shout no? Why didn't I object and told Hikaru my thoughts? Moreover, why couldn't he tell that I was not happy one bit inside? Is this how 'separation' goes? The gap between us grew more? I'm scared, of being alone.

But I know that I was being selfish, I hated it. I was just getting carried away by my emotions. Yeah, that's it. I can be mature if I want to, I need to keep myself composed. I need to let..

_You can't let go.. Kaoru._

Shut up..

_We're always gonna be together! Even if we become adults like Mama and Grandma!_

Hikaru..Shut up!

_We'll always be together, Kao. Since no one wanted us, right? No one understands us._

STOP IT.

_I'll never leave you._

I punched the ground, so hard. "AGGH! SHUT UP!" My mind was already playing with me, my closed my eyes tight, almost tearing up. Those words that Hikaru once told me back when we we're kids echoed through my mind. I was pissed at it. He never kept his promises, all he said all those things. But where are you now huh? Why aren't by my side? Tell me!

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_

_somewhere along in the bitterness end.._

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><p><em>Huzzah! It's finished! And It only took me one night. So forgive me if I have too many errors.<em>  
><em>:D I would be very pleased to know what you thought about my story<em>!

_OH! I made a drawing of Kaoru based on this .com/art/Kaoru-s-Reflection-302285109 is it good? leave a comment or review to tell me what you think! ^.^_


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